Last week was one of those difficult life-changing weeks for my children. Understanding that your role as a parent changes throughout their life. This takes time and learning that when they are scared or hurt that you can no longer bundle them up and make everything instantly alright again, as the chances are you are not going to be there.
While at school both my younger two were witness to a serious incident. Which resulted in being removed away from the school. Full bag searches and a number of police and dog units involved. The full details of what took place have not yet been released if they ever do.
The school have done a great job and prove to have a practical and fully working safety procedure in place. This has unnerved them slightly about going back to school but it’s been a learning experience for them at the same time.
They both returned home unhurt and full of what they had seen and experienced. I am not sure how much they realise the gift they have in being able to just offload and tell me everything.
Sadly these threats and events are happening on a daily basis and to experience them and know what takes place is actually a pretty good life lesson that I believe everyone should go through.
My eldest needed me for the first time in ages to talk to. It’s such a shock to know the pain they are going through but also a compliment that I am still needed and for nothing else than just to listen is an honour. This isn’t about who has done what this is just about support and truly connecting with your child and reassuring them.
My immediate response was how to get to him with over 200 miles between us this isn’t a half an hour trip. If he had wanted me to be there I would have found a way. The instincts of a protective parent were as strong yesterday as the day he was born 20 plus years ago.
I am not a helicopter parent or panic about empty nest syndrome. I enjoy my new found life and making a new way forward personally and career-wise. However, to be needed at certain times in their lives has shown we do have a bond and they love and trust me enough to talk to me.
There may be people who treat you badly, use and hurt each other because they can. None of that actually matters if you can still connect to your loved ones and just be there.
Perspective and self-respect is the key to life I hold onto and to realise what is truly important. As long as I am here I won’t stop wanting to protect them. I hope they all know how extremely proud I am of all of them. Just for being true to themselves.